Update: Wedding photographer for Lord of the Rings themed wedding ghosts couple for over a year

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
May 26, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

There are so many people you need to hire for your wedding, and choosing the right photographer is key. Of course the catering is important, and picking a DJ to spin your favorite tunes, plus making sure the officiant is ready to officiate your wedding. But people spend thousands to snag the photographer who they think will capture their big day with the most beautiful framing. After that big day is done, all that's left is that slice of wedding cake in the freezer, the dress and suit in the closet, and your memories, captured in photos and videos.

It's never been more important to hire the right photographer or videographer in the age of social media. For many people, their wedding photos won't just matter for a day, it'll be the content they post about for weeks or months. For those who aren't heavy social media users, sending out photos to your closest loved ones is a nice tradition to follow. Whatever your reasons may be, you just want your photographer to show up and do their job. 

This couple was very disappointed when their wedding photos didn't go as planned. U/identicaltwin00 wrote in to the r/weddingshaming subreddit to share her own personal wedding photo disaster, which you can check out below. Then, read about this fed-up worker who quit their job after their boss declared that their "abilities are not worth that much." 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9927658240
    via Mariah Krafft on Unsplash
  • 02
    Wedding photographer (friend for over a decade) completely ghosts wedding couple
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 03
    TLDR: Wedding photographer took the time to take pictures of the wedding, but now has ghosted and there are no wedding pictures to speak of. I am the bride and this is giving me massive anxiety. I'm not looking for advice (since I honestly think that I'm just out of luck) but I definitely want to vent my story.
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 04
    I was previously married during college and was in an al relationship. The future e photographer was actually there during this experience and one of my very close friends. She was there when I showed up to work face, ect. She was with a b always a phenomenal friend. I worked with her for over 7 years and kept in touch after I moved on from that company. I met my future husband about five years ago and everyone loved him right
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 05
    away, basic love story, ect. I knew that this friend had quit her job at that company to be a full time photographer. She always spoke about it constantly and showed me her work. I always said she would be my photographer for my wedding and I would be happy to give her my business. I get engaged. The engagement lasted one and a half years. She quoted me a price, and I was like sure! This price included an engagement session and a second shooter. It all sounded
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 06
    great. The wedding was amazing. It was a themed Lord of the Rings wedding and had the coolest decor. Pictures were so important to me since we spent ALOT of time theming this wedding. She shows up without a second shooter and we never did an engagement session. I'm just fine with it. I don't complain. She's a friend! The wedding ends and it was wonderful.
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 07
    A few weeks go by and I don't hear from her. I reach out and she says she's working on the pictures. Expecting her to send me a bill, I'm just thinking she needs some time. I even mention she should send the venmo request. She does not. A month goes by. I ask again. She says she's working on the pictures. She sends 4 very random example pictures. Not even of us, they are of decor and one of him and his mother. I'm ridiculously
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 08
    understanding and when other people ask about pictures I always take up for her. It was at this time I find out from my mother in law that she claims she "came out of retirement to do my wedding." I had no idea. I was under the impression she was still doing this professionally. Last I saw she had a rented space for her business and was doing great. She had a beautiful website and all. We had great communication up until the
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 09
    wedding and everything was going great. If she didn't want to do it I could've easily hired someone else, but she always seemed excited. I kept following up after the wedding until 3 months go by and she finally sends me the venmo. Its the same price (rather high) that she quoted before that included the second shooter and engagement photoshoot, which neither was done. I nicely ask about it and she makes some
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 10
    statement that she's going to do a canvas and book instead. I'm like, ok. I don't even argue. My husband, however, is concerned and thought we should meet up and pay her once we get SOMETHING since she's been so shady. He didn't know her as well as I did and is now very concerned about her odd behavior. So I ask her if we can meet that weekend, or whenever she'd like and I'd pay her right then. She says sure, but then abruptly cancels. Then she asks
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 11
    if we could do zoom instead. I said sure (I really just wanted to SEE pictures at all before I dished out thousands of dollars since she was being so flaky). Then..... she just stopped responding. Ever. I followed up by text, message, whatever. My maid of honor messaged her. She leaves us both on unread. That's it. That is the story. She just stops. responding.
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 12
    This is a friend I've been close to for 10 years and I am without words. I have ZERO problems paying her. I kept asking her for the bill for the first couple months after the wedding (and even before the wedding). She knows that I have worked very hard and make good money, so it isn't the money. I've had several other people read through my messages to her and really are also at a loss as I was insanely understanding even after quoting me a price for services she didn't
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 13
    do. They didn't understand her weird behavior and completely understood why I didn't just send thousands of dollars after months of this shady behavior. I have messaged multiple times that I will meet her and literally cash in hand give her money in exchange for just the digital photos on a usb or something! And there is no response. I have messaged time and again that money isn't an issue and I will come cash in hand (even at that inflated price) in
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 14
    exchange for even just the digital copies. At this point I just want pictures. Its now been 4 months. Over a month since she's responded at all. She posts on fb all the time just random things. I don't want to publicly shame her, but I'm so devastated she did this. Its a loss of what I thought was a really great friend and I have no idea why she doesn't respond. I've sent countless messages offering to drive to her house, her
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 15
    workplace, anytime she wants, with no response. The only bright side, is that my husbands mother is a professional camera woman who was a news camera person for over 20 years... and she recorded the whole thing. I am still sad I don't have pictures. I would literally hand her that crazy price right now in exchange for my digital copies...even without the second shooter, photo book, canvas, or whatever was
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 16
    promised. It's all very bizarre. My personal theory is that she accidentally deleted them, or never did the work she thought would be worth that price and was too embarrassed to change the price. I honestly have no clue. Part of me wondered if I should've paid her when she sent the invoice (even though it was clearly not what I received)... but
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 17
    after her being so shady... who knows. Its clearly my fault for hiring a friend. Never again. I learned the hard way. I feel so immensely guilty for not just hiring a professional.
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 18
    Update: almost at a year and still no contact or pictures
    via u/identicaltwin00
  • 19
    CanCueD WE HAVE ONE, YES BUT WHAT ABOUT SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER? I'm so sorry, OP. As a fellow Tolkien fan, I'm extra insulted on your behalf. You know, photo editing software can do some pretty remarkable
    via u/CanCueD
  • 20
    things. Maybe you can get the video screenshots sharpened and edited by a legit photographer. Sending some fluff humor your way!
    via u/CanCueD
  • 21
    spanksmitten It could be worth a shot of saying something along the lines of
    via u/spanksmitten
  • 22
    "Hi, not sure what's been going on and just hope we can catch up about it. If something has happened to the photos, you've lost them or you're not having a great time right now thats totally okay it's just harder when I'm not sure what's going on. Please let me know and we can figure it out"
    via u/spanksmitten
  • 23
    RUL2022 At this point I have to say I would be petty and publicly shame her on social media. Clearly the friendship is done so what else is there to lose. At least it would protect others from using her services.
    via u/RUL2022
  • 24
    canwepleasejustnot I dated a guy one time that agreed to videotape a wedding, collected the money way beforehand, spent it, and then lost the footage. He was so embarrassed he basically dropped off the face of the earth (to the bride).
    via u/canwepleasejustnot
  • 25
    Newauntie26 Can you do a search for her address on Been Verified or White Pages? Don't go to her home alone but maybe you & your MOH go talk with her & your husband stays in the car? Do you know her family? I wonder if something is up with her mental health?
    via u/Newauntie26
  • 26
    slm719 I'm sorry this happened to you. I will say, if you find out she accidentally deleted them or had some sort of computer problem, I own a digital forensics company and it's very likely they can be recovered depending on what the issue is. I wish you luck in getting your pictures.
    via u/slm719

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photos wedding photographer friendship pictures wedding party friends ghosting Lord of the Rings
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